The Iceberg Theory.

At the very beginning of school, all Olivet freshman participated in an event called "Jumpstart." Essentially, Jumpstart was intended to prepare us mentally for what to expect in college. One of the main speakers mentioned this idea, or theory, that focused on the fact that external appearances are only about 5 to 10% of who you are. You probably understand this concept easily because you know that many times with giant icebergs you can only see the tip from above the water and never think, or know about the massive amount of ice underneath the surface.

The Jumpstart speaker was relating the iceberg to people; I can quickly summarize what he was saying in five words: don't judge based on appearances.
Simple enough concept right? When you walk into a situation, use restraint instead of making snap judgements; look at it from their perspective, etc. The problem with this idea is that it is all too natural to judge, even if we do it subconsciously.

I think humans have this innate need to categorize everything, and as a result, we naturally want to put people into our own little boxes in our brains. Their placement might have little to do with what they have actually done to us, or who they actually are, but rather is based on the fact that we need to feel something towards them, whether it be good, or bad.

So I'm not exactly sure what to tell you to do about this; maybe we need to be a little more conscious of our judgmental nature, or, if we absolutely NEED to categorize someone, why not give them the benefit of the doubt?

I know all of this is easier said than done, but burning bridges before they've been built is probably a little more problematic.

-Dave